Whenever I have an exam or something, this guilt stays with me to keep me conscious. I feel guilt whenever I haven’t prepared properly for an exam. I feel guilty of wasting time. I feel guilty of acting immaturely. I feel guilty all the time. I mean at one hand it keep me doing hard work, but on the other hand it eats me. Eats me to the core. Stops me from what I am doing right in my path. Tells me things like I am reckless, lazy, unworthy….I mean it is both a friend and enemy. It is my frenemy….
I usually sit through my exam till the last minutes. Mostly it’s because I am still doing the quiz, but sometimes I sit throughout the exam so that after it finishes I will not tell myself:
“If you would have waited maybe something would have come to your mind.”
“See, that’s what you get for being over-efficient. Had you rechecked your paper, this wouldn’t have happened.”
So, this scolding machine inside my heads keep me doing the right thing. As I posted once that I consider guilt as a gift. Well, its not like I am deviating from what I said earlier. But….the frenemy thing needed to be mentioned.
Is guilt your frenemy too?